2008 Woodie Awards
The Joys Of Heckling
It's not whether you win or lose, but how much you belittle your opponent.
Tyler Adams
Issue date: 2/9/05 Section: Sports and Wellness
The Quindecim and Goucher College do not condone heckling. This article is the sole opinion of the author.
My new archenemy wears '00' on his back. Never met him, never talked to him, don't know his background, won't print his name for fear of possible lawsuits. But I know he's a lanky, talented center for the Goucher basketball rival St. Mary's Seahawks, and that's enough to make me hate his guts.
St. Mary's knocked off Goucher 75-73 on the 26th of January, their first loss of the season at the Sports and Recreation Center. Anyway, when '00' checked into the game in the first half, he instantly became the home crowd's target of choice.
First, he's tall. Second, he's good - his voracious block of a Garrett Smith, '07, runner in the first half was what originally incited the crowd's wrath. Third, he's got a weakness - Double-zero's a major defensive liability, especially against an experienced post player like Smith. Last, and most importantly, he's not too good at keeping his cool.
Nothing makes sports more fun from a fan's viewpoint than feeling as if you're directly impacting the game. And nothing makes that more possible than an easily frustrated opponent - see Albert Belle, Dennis Rodman, John Rocker - letting their frustrations show. As one particularly zealous heckler put it, "I'm in your head, [player's name]! Look at the game, man! I'm in your [expletive] head!"
After the first chant of the player's number - "Double-zee-ro! Double-zee-ro!" - he pointed at the scoreboard, which showed a small St. Mary's lead. It only doubled our efforts. After he came up with the play of the game, an uncontested alley-oop jam from Seahawk point guard Ben Stewart, he glared at the Goucher student section, crossed his arms in an 'X', and yanked them to the side in a gesture that said, You want some more of this?
Of course we did. As Smith continued working our nemesis down low to the tune of an eventual game-high 25 points, Goucher slowly hacked its way back within 7, 5, 3 points. With under 5 minutes to go and Goucher on the line, Double-zero bolted from his spot on the line and out into the hallways of the SRC. St. Mary's calmly called timeout and substituted.
Whaaaat? The student section clamored for an explanation. Did this happen all the time? Did someone page him? Did he have the runs? I can't speak for the rest of the crowd, but I dared to hope that we had damaged his psyche to the point where he couldn't stand being on the floor anymore. Of course, that wasn't it - he simply had to vomit, but that's what every crowd hopes for. The goal is to scream you out of our gym, be the proverbial sixth man and boost our Gophers to victory.
Heckling is an essential part of being a fan. If you're not particularly upset at the other team, holler at the officials. If you're not upset at the officials (or referees, or umpires), you're not really a fan.
Come to these Goucher games and join us. This is my first column as Sports Editor, and let me tell you, I'm coming in at a good time. Goucher men's basketball looks poised to make a run for the CAC title. Goucher women's ballers have struggled through the first semester, but new faces like freshmen Colleen Orton, Emily Ramsay, and Shadae Swan offer hope for the very immediate future. Lacrosse sports two pre-season All-Americans. I'm already getting ready for soccer next year, and I'm daydreaming about how I'll arrange The Quindecim's tennis updates next issue.
Yet I'm doing all this heckling with a disappointing number of fellow students beside me. Get out there and make your Gophers feel supported! (And the other team feel miserable.)
My new archenemy wears '00' on his back. Never met him, never talked to him, don't know his background, won't print his name for fear of possible lawsuits. But I know he's a lanky, talented center for the Goucher basketball rival St. Mary's Seahawks, and that's enough to make me hate his guts.
St. Mary's knocked off Goucher 75-73 on the 26th of January, their first loss of the season at the Sports and Recreation Center. Anyway, when '00' checked into the game in the first half, he instantly became the home crowd's target of choice.
First, he's tall. Second, he's good - his voracious block of a Garrett Smith, '07, runner in the first half was what originally incited the crowd's wrath. Third, he's got a weakness - Double-zero's a major defensive liability, especially against an experienced post player like Smith. Last, and most importantly, he's not too good at keeping his cool.
Nothing makes sports more fun from a fan's viewpoint than feeling as if you're directly impacting the game. And nothing makes that more possible than an easily frustrated opponent - see Albert Belle, Dennis Rodman, John Rocker - letting their frustrations show. As one particularly zealous heckler put it, "I'm in your head, [player's name]! Look at the game, man! I'm in your [expletive] head!"
After the first chant of the player's number - "Double-zee-ro! Double-zee-ro!" - he pointed at the scoreboard, which showed a small St. Mary's lead. It only doubled our efforts. After he came up with the play of the game, an uncontested alley-oop jam from Seahawk point guard Ben Stewart, he glared at the Goucher student section, crossed his arms in an 'X', and yanked them to the side in a gesture that said, You want some more of this?
Of course we did. As Smith continued working our nemesis down low to the tune of an eventual game-high 25 points, Goucher slowly hacked its way back within 7, 5, 3 points. With under 5 minutes to go and Goucher on the line, Double-zero bolted from his spot on the line and out into the hallways of the SRC. St. Mary's calmly called timeout and substituted.
Whaaaat? The student section clamored for an explanation. Did this happen all the time? Did someone page him? Did he have the runs? I can't speak for the rest of the crowd, but I dared to hope that we had damaged his psyche to the point where he couldn't stand being on the floor anymore. Of course, that wasn't it - he simply had to vomit, but that's what every crowd hopes for. The goal is to scream you out of our gym, be the proverbial sixth man and boost our Gophers to victory.
Heckling is an essential part of being a fan. If you're not particularly upset at the other team, holler at the officials. If you're not upset at the officials (or referees, or umpires), you're not really a fan.
Come to these Goucher games and join us. This is my first column as Sports Editor, and let me tell you, I'm coming in at a good time. Goucher men's basketball looks poised to make a run for the CAC title. Goucher women's ballers have struggled through the first semester, but new faces like freshmen Colleen Orton, Emily Ramsay, and Shadae Swan offer hope for the very immediate future. Lacrosse sports two pre-season All-Americans. I'm already getting ready for soccer next year, and I'm daydreaming about how I'll arrange The Quindecim's tennis updates next issue.
Yet I'm doing all this heckling with a disappointing number of fellow students beside me. Get out there and make your Gophers feel supported! (And the other team feel miserable.)
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