2008 Woodie Awards
Did I Say . . . Something Wrong?
Eliot Grasso
Issue date: 10/13/04 Section: Opinion
This opinion article was spurred by a recent event in which a Goucher professor was verbally mauled by a student for using BC and BCE interchangeably. "Well, which is it?!" the student in question demanded. BC stands for "Before Christ," and has been changed to BCE (Before Common Era) within the last decade or so to remove religion from history texts.
A senator was publicly persecuted and forced to resign over the use of the word "niggardly" in a speech. This author's question stands: "When is enough enough?" It addresses a whole host of other words that have, over the course of linguistic development, attained some sort of derogatory connotation.
The point is essentially this, people: political correctness has become a thorn in the side of many speakers and writers. The sad truth is that no matter what is written, it will offend someone.
Great minds are wasting countless hours and minutes writing pieces in such a way so as not to offend the greater populace. This writer says that these great literary minds should spend less time appeasing the masses, since there are enough touchy and illiterate troglodytes to be offended by even the simplest nursery rhyme.
Adjectives, nouns, gerunds ... what's next? In today's world, even the child's song "Mary Had a Little Lamb" could become the object of a heated political debate. Is anyone safe? Was Mary white or black, and just what color was her lamb? Who wrote this slanderous filth and are there politically incorrect (gasp) undertones?
The truly important question, no doubt, echoes from the media as they squirm in their pants with childish grins on their faces. "Oh, is somebody being sued? Can WE sue somebody? What kind of negative undercurrents can we slather onto or extract from someone's seemingly innocent comment no matter how tangentially related it might be?"
One possible solution could be to forcibly educate all of America's citizens about each and every one of the world's cultures and civilizations, thus preventing them from misconstruing harmless adjectives and nouns. This mass education could also include mandatory memorization and replication of the English dictionary upon penalty of death (in Texas at least).
Another solution to this conundrum could involve some sort of collaboration between Webster's and Microsoft to create an immense, unabridged phraseology database.
This machine would be operated by all the touchiest, whiniest people around, and all televised speeches and printed articles would have to be run through it to detect any dangerously low levels of "PC." If levels of PC run below 99.9%, the author of this supposed filth would be given two choices: a) burning at the stake or B) dressing as a transvestite and participating in no fewer than four consecutive episodes of Jerry Springer.
In closing: develop a sense of humor, people. The less you take seriously in life, the happier you are likely to be.
A senator was publicly persecuted and forced to resign over the use of the word "niggardly" in a speech. This author's question stands: "When is enough enough?" It addresses a whole host of other words that have, over the course of linguistic development, attained some sort of derogatory connotation.
The point is essentially this, people: political correctness has become a thorn in the side of many speakers and writers. The sad truth is that no matter what is written, it will offend someone.
Great minds are wasting countless hours and minutes writing pieces in such a way so as not to offend the greater populace. This writer says that these great literary minds should spend less time appeasing the masses, since there are enough touchy and illiterate troglodytes to be offended by even the simplest nursery rhyme.
Adjectives, nouns, gerunds ... what's next? In today's world, even the child's song "Mary Had a Little Lamb" could become the object of a heated political debate. Is anyone safe? Was Mary white or black, and just what color was her lamb? Who wrote this slanderous filth and are there politically incorrect (gasp) undertones?
The truly important question, no doubt, echoes from the media as they squirm in their pants with childish grins on their faces. "Oh, is somebody being sued? Can WE sue somebody? What kind of negative undercurrents can we slather onto or extract from someone's seemingly innocent comment no matter how tangentially related it might be?"
One possible solution could be to forcibly educate all of America's citizens about each and every one of the world's cultures and civilizations, thus preventing them from misconstruing harmless adjectives and nouns. This mass education could also include mandatory memorization and replication of the English dictionary upon penalty of death (in Texas at least).
Another solution to this conundrum could involve some sort of collaboration between Webster's and Microsoft to create an immense, unabridged phraseology database.
This machine would be operated by all the touchiest, whiniest people around, and all televised speeches and printed articles would have to be run through it to detect any dangerously low levels of "PC." If levels of PC run below 99.9%, the author of this supposed filth would be given two choices: a) burning at the stake or B) dressing as a transvestite and participating in no fewer than four consecutive episodes of Jerry Springer.
In closing: develop a sense of humor, people. The less you take seriously in life, the happier you are likely to be.
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