Quindecim

Issue date: 4/21/04 Section: Features

Media Credit: Caroline Langrall Art LaPenotiere ´05 is a staff writer for The Quindecim and a member of the Goucher II program.

With summer approaching, television networks are frantically trying to fill their programming voids with something other than mind-numbing reruns. My spies in New York and Hollywood have been smuggling out daily information about some of the proposed summer replacement series. Herewith then, are some of the interesting possibilities:

WMD (Why Me, Dubya?)
In this sitcom spinoff of "The West Wing," Denzel Washington makes his television series debut as a befuddled Secretary of State who has to constantly cover up for a bumbling chief executive who just can't get it right.

Beer Factor
The latest reality show takes place on the campus of a small liberal arts college on the East Coast. Teams of students are challenged to do horrible and gross things like attend classes, write papers, and eat food from the school's dining hall (without ketchup).

After each week of the semester, the head of the school's writing department sneaks into a selected sleeping student's dorm room and screams into the student's ear, "YOU FAILED! THE SCRIBE HAS SPOKEN!"

The disgraced student is then forced to put on school mascot's costume and is dropped off in a very bad part of town.

American Idle
This is another college-based reality show in which energy-challenged students see how long they can veg out in a dorm room with only beer and cheese doodles for sustenance.

In the pilot, the winner begins as a sophomore and holds out through spring break of his junior year.

The Erection
Shameful attempt by an unnamed network to attract viewers through innuendo, this series follows an up-and-coming architect who designs buildings in mid-town Manhattan. Peter North stars in his first mainstream role.

The Losers
Former presidential candidates like Howard Dean and John Edwards try to worm their way back into the race in this political reality show. The former candidates woo groups of voters from battleground states with lies and outlandish campaign promises, much like the guy that beat them in all the primaries.

Martha's Minions
Cybill Shepherd stars in this sitcom about a madcap television show host turned CEO and multi-millionaire who does an "oopsy" and lands in federal prison. The fun begins when she organizes the other inmates and creates a zany investment club. The show gives a whole new meaning to the term "insider trading!"

The Guv
The Rock stars as a newly elected governor with body by steroids and a penchant for attractive women. The statehouse rocks each week as the Guv gropes his way through state crisis after state crisis.

CSI: Pierre
Police in this bustling South Dakota city investigate weekly crimes like parking offenses, livestock rustling, and loitering outside the town's shopping mall.

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