2008 Woodie Awards
Olszewski, Stober Caught Drag Racing
Loop Road Incident Probably Not Isolated
Elizabeth Fields
Issue date: 4/1/04 Section: The Absolute Truth
Once again, it is time for the April Fool's Day edition of The Quindecim. The staff realizes that everyone does not have the same sense of humor as we do; we did not intend to offend. Resemblances to any factual persons or events in these articles, are horrible, unintentional accidents.
Goucher College Security apprehended Senior Class President, John Olszewski '04, and SGA President, Josh Stober '06, last Friday, citing multiple violations of reckless driving and endangerment of pedestrians and fellow drivers. The two students were caught "drag racing" around Campus Loop Road late Friday night. They will be brought before the disciplinary committee next month.
"This was a very shocking incident," states Veto Mentzell, Director of Campus Security and Safety. "There is just no reason that anyone should use Campus Loop Road for anything other than what it is intended to be used for. There is no excuse to break the 24-mile-per-hour speed limit."
When apprehended, Olszewski and Stober were driving at speeds in excess of 95 miles per hour.
"This is clearly unacceptable," said Stacy Cooper Patterson, Director of Residence Life and Judicial Programs. "I am saddened that two leaders of the Goucher community would do this, but at the same time, I'm also thinking about the other students and staff members, even deer or squirrels that could have been hurt or killed. The disciplinary committee will have to take that into account."
Olszewski and Stober insist that the administration is making "too big a deal" out of the incident, and that their late-night sporting events never put the campus in danger.
"We were never out of control," Olszewski insisted. "We knew exactly what we were doing. When we tried to tell Security, they seemed to think we were drunk or something."
Olszewski and Stober were not Breathalyzed, and the Security report makes no official mention of alcohol abuse.
"Really, I don't see what the problem is," Stober insisted. "We weren't drinking, we weren't smoking up, we were just out to, you know, have a little fun at night."
Olszewski cites another reason for their actions. "In my pop culture class we've been talking about how the media shapes and reflects young people's behavior. Josh and I had just watched The Fast and the Furious that night, and we were conducting an experiment to see if movies really mirror the things that people our age do, or if they influence them. We hoped this would be the first in a series of several investigative reports. Now, thanks to Security, we'll never be able to finish."
Regardless of their intentions, Mentzell says that the two students are in "a world of trouble."
"We put in all this work this summer to add approximately 822.7 new speed bumps so this kind of thing wouldn't happen," says the bemused Mentzell. "We have a snazzy little flashing stop sign at the front gate so people will know to drive slowly. I mean, what's next? Do we need to make signs that announce the speed limit?"
"I think this incident has really opened our eyes to the changes that will be made on campus," Patterson said. "We've already announced that construction will begin on the Loop Road this summer to make room for the new dorm that will be built by the Fall of 2005. While we hope that this is an isolated incident, it really emphasizes the need to keep automobile traffic to the perimeter of campus."
Both students find the attention given to their case laughable. "Security's getting so bent out of shape about this, and I really don't know why," Stober said. "Everybody else is doing it! I think they are just trying to undermine our authority on campus. Don't you find it odd that the two leaders on campus are caught, and not some drunk freshman who lives in Stimson? I don't mind going before the disciplinary committee if I did something wrong, but this is just ridiculous."
Do you have incriminating photos of Olszewski and Stober? Send them to us! Email the quin@goucher.edu.
Goucher College Security apprehended Senior Class President, John Olszewski '04, and SGA President, Josh Stober '06, last Friday, citing multiple violations of reckless driving and endangerment of pedestrians and fellow drivers. The two students were caught "drag racing" around Campus Loop Road late Friday night. They will be brought before the disciplinary committee next month.
"This was a very shocking incident," states Veto Mentzell, Director of Campus Security and Safety. "There is just no reason that anyone should use Campus Loop Road for anything other than what it is intended to be used for. There is no excuse to break the 24-mile-per-hour speed limit."
When apprehended, Olszewski and Stober were driving at speeds in excess of 95 miles per hour.
"This is clearly unacceptable," said Stacy Cooper Patterson, Director of Residence Life and Judicial Programs. "I am saddened that two leaders of the Goucher community would do this, but at the same time, I'm also thinking about the other students and staff members, even deer or squirrels that could have been hurt or killed. The disciplinary committee will have to take that into account."
Olszewski and Stober insist that the administration is making "too big a deal" out of the incident, and that their late-night sporting events never put the campus in danger.
"We were never out of control," Olszewski insisted. "We knew exactly what we were doing. When we tried to tell Security, they seemed to think we were drunk or something."
Olszewski and Stober were not Breathalyzed, and the Security report makes no official mention of alcohol abuse.
"Really, I don't see what the problem is," Stober insisted. "We weren't drinking, we weren't smoking up, we were just out to, you know, have a little fun at night."
Olszewski cites another reason for their actions. "In my pop culture class we've been talking about how the media shapes and reflects young people's behavior. Josh and I had just watched The Fast and the Furious that night, and we were conducting an experiment to see if movies really mirror the things that people our age do, or if they influence them. We hoped this would be the first in a series of several investigative reports. Now, thanks to Security, we'll never be able to finish."
Regardless of their intentions, Mentzell says that the two students are in "a world of trouble."
"We put in all this work this summer to add approximately 822.7 new speed bumps so this kind of thing wouldn't happen," says the bemused Mentzell. "We have a snazzy little flashing stop sign at the front gate so people will know to drive slowly. I mean, what's next? Do we need to make signs that announce the speed limit?"
"I think this incident has really opened our eyes to the changes that will be made on campus," Patterson said. "We've already announced that construction will begin on the Loop Road this summer to make room for the new dorm that will be built by the Fall of 2005. While we hope that this is an isolated incident, it really emphasizes the need to keep automobile traffic to the perimeter of campus."
Both students find the attention given to their case laughable. "Security's getting so bent out of shape about this, and I really don't know why," Stober said. "Everybody else is doing it! I think they are just trying to undermine our authority on campus. Don't you find it odd that the two leaders on campus are caught, and not some drunk freshman who lives in Stimson? I don't mind going before the disciplinary committee if I did something wrong, but this is just ridiculous."
Do you have incriminating photos of Olszewski and Stober? Send them to us! Email the quin@goucher.edu.
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