2008 Woodie Awards
Broken Water Mains Part of Strategic Plan
Johanna Goldberg
Issue date: 4/1/04 Section: The Absolute Truth
Once again, it is time for the April Fool's Day edition of The Quindecim. The staff realizes that everyone does not have the same sense of humor as we do; we did not intend to offend. Resemblances to any factual persons or events in these articles, are horrible, unintentional accidents.
It has just been revealed that the water main breaks causing the dearth of water on Goucher's campus, along with the flooding experienced in Jeffery last semester, were Goucher's ways of transcending boundaries in an attempt to further the Strategic Plan.
President Sandy Ungar is thrilled by the rare chance these events gave students to experience what life is like in other parts of the world. "There are so many impoverished, third world nations that do not have running water or toilets. While some may see the water main breaks and flooding incidents as hindering temporary inconveniences, I feel that they pushed Goucher into the 21st century by providing otherwise sheltered students with the ability to empathize with the plight of so many peoples."
Michael Curry, Vice President and Academic Dean, agrees. "While Goucher is a diverse campus, it is rare for students to be able to travel metaphorically to other parts of the globe via water conditions. We hope to simulate drought/flooding conditions every year in order to allow students who cannot go abroad to experience firsthand what life is like in other, less fortunate parts of the world.
In response to the conditions created by the water main break, Professor Emeritus and Lecturer Joe Morton is organizing a water-strike to carry forward this push toward third-world conditions. He explains:
"Starting next week, I, along with any other students who wish to join my campaign, will limit my water consumption to encompass only the most basic necessities. I will use only a tablespoon full of a water-substitute solution to bathe, and will replace my daily water intake with water-free lemonade."
It has just been revealed that the water main breaks causing the dearth of water on Goucher's campus, along with the flooding experienced in Jeffery last semester, were Goucher's ways of transcending boundaries in an attempt to further the Strategic Plan.
President Sandy Ungar is thrilled by the rare chance these events gave students to experience what life is like in other parts of the world. "There are so many impoverished, third world nations that do not have running water or toilets. While some may see the water main breaks and flooding incidents as hindering temporary inconveniences, I feel that they pushed Goucher into the 21
Michael Curry, Vice President and Academic Dean, agrees. "While Goucher is a diverse campus, it is rare for students to be able to travel metaphorically to other parts of the globe via water conditions. We hope to simulate drought/flooding conditions every year in order to allow students who cannot go abroad to experience firsthand what life is like in other, less fortunate parts of the world.
In response to the conditions created by the water main break, Professor Emeritus and Lecturer Joe Morton is organizing a water-strike to carry forward this push toward third-world conditions. He explains:
"Starting next week, I, along with any other students who wish to join my campaign, will limit my water consumption to encompass only the most basic necessities. I will use only a tablespoon full of a water-substitute solution to bathe, and will replace my daily water intake with water-free lemonade."
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