2008 Woodie Awards
The Home Stretch
Shoshana Flax
Issue date: 12/10/03 Section: Opinion
Winter break's on its way! Yes, you've reached the home stretch.
You can tell 'cause your friends are beginning to kvetch
about papers, and projects, and oh, those exams!
Hallways echo with darns. Even one or two damns.
And no matter how hard you have worked all semester,
this week, forget sleeping. You must do your best or
you'll wonder just where all your pretty grades went;
those last few things are worth quite a hefty percent.
Your brain is all muddled, and so is your stuff,
your desk piled with sources. Will eight be enough?
This one looks quite useful, but how can you cite it?
The prof cares so much, so why doesn't he write it?
It's not like you don't have enough on your mind,
and somehow, for some reason, you've fallen behind.
For this fact, you're a bit unsure where to place blame
(But you'll try, just this once, to resist using AIM).
Should the TV be off? No, you won't go that far,
since you've learned so much bio from watching ER.
You feel ready, but whether or not you've prepared,
the idea of a test makes you feel rather scared.
In an essay or two, you're expected to show
that you know everything you're expected to know.
That's a whole lot of writing. Good reason to worry.
And what if the chapter you read in a hurry
appears in a question worth twenty-five points?
So you're biting your nails and you're cracking your joints
as you stare at that Things I Have Left to Do list,
wishing MLA formatting didn't exist,
'cause a few of those rules seem, in essence, absurd
as you stare at a blank screen on Microsoft Word.
Take a deep breath. Begin with the evil Page One.
Guess what! Once you do it, then it'll be done!
You can tell 'cause your friends are beginning to kvetch
about papers, and projects, and oh, those exams!
Hallways echo with darns. Even one or two damns.
And no matter how hard you have worked all semester,
this week, forget sleeping. You must do your best or
you'll wonder just where all your pretty grades went;
those last few things are worth quite a hefty percent.
Your brain is all muddled, and so is your stuff,
your desk piled with sources. Will eight be enough?
This one looks quite useful, but how can you cite it?
The prof cares so much, so why doesn't he write it?
It's not like you don't have enough on your mind,
and somehow, for some reason, you've fallen behind.
For this fact, you're a bit unsure where to place blame
(But you'll try, just this once, to resist using AIM).
Should the TV be off? No, you won't go that far,
since you've learned so much bio from watching ER.
You feel ready, but whether or not you've prepared,
the idea of a test makes you feel rather scared.
In an essay or two, you're expected to show
that you know everything you're expected to know.
That's a whole lot of writing. Good reason to worry.
And what if the chapter you read in a hurry
appears in a question worth twenty-five points?
So you're biting your nails and you're cracking your joints
as you stare at that Things I Have Left to Do list,
wishing MLA formatting didn't exist,
'cause a few of those rules seem, in essence, absurd
as you stare at a blank screen on Microsoft Word.
Take a deep breath. Begin with the evil Page One.
Guess what! Once you do it, then it'll be done!