188 people were taken hostage by pirates last year. I'm not kidding. These statistics, tracked by the International Maritime Bureau, are shocking. They note that modern pirates are often linked to organized-crime syndicates and that fifteen pirate attacks resulted in murder last year. Murder! Pirates kill people.

So why isn't anyone complaining about the Pirate Club?

Somehow, Humans vs. Zombies has found itself in the crosshairs of the politically correct. Last year myself and the other moderators of the game sat in a meeting with Associate Dean of Students Emily Perl. She read us e-mails from a vocal minority on campus, who were all offended by the game in various ways.

One English professor wrote, "You might think this game is just good clean fun, but I don't think so - I think it promotes violence."

Let's review. People killed by pirates last year: 15. People killed by zombies: 0. Another complaint indicated that the game was disrespectful because this is a time of war, and Americans are currently deployed in Afghanistan and Iraq.

I spoke with Elizabeth F. '11 about this - at the time she was 25 days away from beginning Boot Camp at Parris Island with the United States Marine Corps. She also played Humans vs. Zombies. This was her reply:

"In no way does Human vs. Zombies dishonor those serving in the military. This game promotes teamwork, patience, friendship. This game allows those that do not wish to live the military life to still have a glimpse at it without any mockery. In Humans vs. Zombies, players can be heroes.

"I am willing to serve my land and die for my country. Part of what I, as well as the United States Marine Corps, stands for is that college students may frolic about in fantasies with friends on a campus instead being forced to pick up a real gun and defend their homeland. What type of America and what type of accepting, liberal arts college would Goucher be if students could not in an organized way, chase alien-zombies about in a game of tag?

"That is the land that I am willing to die for - one that allows and encourages outside of the box thinking, entertaining pastimes, and an encouragement of community crossing all backgrounds. The United States military risks their lives every day so that we, the civilians, may feel safe even when throwing socks or Nerf darts at each other. It would be a great dishonor to those fallen soldiers to live in fear of giant neon colored toy Nerf guns and socks.

"I am a freshman who hardly left my floor, and new barely anyone before the HVZ game. Humans vs. Zombies helped to bring me into the campus life and remind me of what I wish to serve and protect."

To our detriment, we have made it fashionable to complain about things that don't affect us. Excited opposition to Humans vs. Zombies strikes me as similar to the demand for a Constitutional ban on gay marriage. Who cares that much? It's not as though anyone is forcing Republicans to marry gay people, and it's not as though anyone is forcing peace studies students to play Humans vs. Zombies. If it doesn't affect your life, hands off. Please.

This story is played out over and over again. Liberals take offense at rap lyrics, and decide that they must be sold with an age limit so that the "bad ideas" they contain don't get into our heads. Conservatives take offense at a book, and decide that it must be banned from public schools lest the "bad ideas" it contains get into our heads. Politicians take offense at violent videogames, movies with sex scenes, or a gay Teletubby and these things must be restricted and banned so that they don't poison our minds.

It seems to me that the real social ill here is the notion that if one doesn't like something, no one else should get to enjoy it. What ever happened to personal responsibility? Our law is not intended to provide freedom from offense. It is intended to provide freedom to offend.

We are too easily offended, too quick to judgment without all of the facts, and too eager to tell others how to live their lives. Even at Goucher, this leads to a fanatical fear of offending those who might complain; at times this goes so far as to threaten academic freedom. One professor has asked me three times this year - in class - not to repeat what he says in lecture in the Opinion pages of The Q. This is the culture we have become.

Before complaining about the Zombie game, please take a moment to consider how much it affects your life. Is your avoidance of offense more important than the fun of your peers and your own personal freedom? If we live in a culture where it is acceptable to end that which annoys us, consider what's next to go. It's not pirates. It's liberty.

Rebuttal by Dan Amodeo

Max Temkin seems to be paranoid, and those who have confronted him and other HVZ fanatics just seem lost. Where have we all gone wrong? I can tell you, everyone's out for themselves. There's no room for compromise between both sides of the argument that max laid out.

Note to the English professor who said HVZ promotes violence: Duh, ya think? So do the following activities: television, BOOKS, videogames, etc. Should we ban certain books we dislike because they incite violence? No. Max, should you worry about comments like this? No. Should we all be concerned with our communal relations and our security? YES!

The fact is, having 100 people running around dressed up like they are in a Tom Clancy novel is a bit extreme. How are we to ensure that everyone playing this game is legit, and that no real dangers exist? We can't, but we can minimize risks and we can create a space for HVZ that impedes less on non-participants. Not wanting enact such changes would be equivalent to the "notion that if one doesn't like something, no one else should get to enjoy it."