As if living with a stranger in a small dorm room isn't intimidating enough, you also have to share a bathroom with 30 other strangers (unless you live in the New House Castle). This is one of the horrors of college life, second to dining hall food.  To make this as painless as possible for you, I am taking my horrendous bathroom discoveries in order to help you avoid the same nasty experiences.  If everyone follows these simple rules of bathroom etiquette, (developed especially for Goucher students), then we can all pee in harmony.

1. Designate one stall as the "puking stall" and throw up in that one only. Why: It's Friday night and the people down the hall are drinking way too much.  Soon enough, they are puking their guts out.  The next morning, you, an innocent non-puking victim, go to use the bathroom.  But to your disgust you find that all four stalls have been puked on everywhere!  Inside, outside, even in the shower.  If they had followed the rule of allotting a puking stall, you would still have three stalls to use at your disposal, literally.  (Also keep in mind that housekeepers only clean the bathroom twice a week at most, and they never clean on the weekends.  So...you puke Friday night, it's there till Monday afternoon.)  Think before you drink, and think before you puke.)

2. Do not cut your hair in the bathroom. Why: You just pulled an all-nighter and you head to the bathroom to splash some water on your face.  But to your dismay as you reach for the faucet, you see that it has a new thick layer of fur.  Goucher does not offer beauty classes for a reason so leave a haircut up to the professionals or do it in your own room.  While hair looks pretty on your head, it does not look pretty in the sink.

3. Flush. Why: Nothing sucks more than walking into the stall, glancing down and seeing a foul souvenir left by the last customer.  You're in college now!  Flush the toilet after yourselves for goodness sake!

4. If you dealt it and smelt it, open the windows. Why: Your neighbor just took the biggest dump in the history of mankind.  You discover this while you're in the shower and are smothered by the foul smell and suddenly don't feel so shower fresh.

5. Only bathroom trash goes in the bathroom trashcan. Why: Someone on your floor is too lazy to take their trash to the trash room and decide to put it in the bathroom trashcan.  Now the bathroom smells like Ramen noodles and coffee- for the rest of the week.

6. Clean up after yourself. Why: Finding used band-aids and hairballs that accumulate in the shower are gross, end of story.

7. Food stays in the kitchen. Why: Someone decides to wash his or her dishes in the bathroom sink.  Later that day, you go to the bathroom to wash your face.  With your face inches away from a sink full of corn and spaghetti-o's, you end up leaving nauseous.  (Note: do not eat food from the sink.  Although you washed your hands with soap in that sink, it does not mean that the corn is clean.  Eating from a sink is worse than eating from Stimson.)

8. Do not "borrow" items from someone else's cubby.   Why: Would you want someone using your shampoo without asking?  It's rumored that a resident was sick of other people using her shampoo and sought revenge by filling the bottle with hair dye.  Ouch.

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